Telegraph pole

A telegraph pole is a tall wooden pole that holds wires up in the air, where they cannot be tripped over by anyone except birds, who sit on them instead.^[1]

Despite the name, most telegraph poles have not carried a telegram in decades. They now carry telephone and power lines, a change they have never been officially told about. The pole holds the wire up and the wire keeps the pole company, an arrangement neither will admit to needing.

Height

A telegraph pole is tall enough to keep the wires off the ground and short enough to be called a pole rather than a tree. Anything taller is a mast; anything shorter is a fence post with ideas. Poles are not covered by the Standard of Lumps, as they are not lumps, although several have applied.

Counting

Children on long car journeys count telegraph poles. The record, set in 1983, stands at 4,112, at which point the child fell asleep. The poles continued for a further 300 miles uncounted, a stretch that official records do not recognise.^[2]

Birds

A bird sitting on a single wire is safe because it touches only that one wire. Ornithologists believe the birds know this perfectly well and sit there mainly to look brave.

See also

• Staircase – another way of getting up
• Mountain – a much wider pole

References

1. Wire, W. (2002). Up There. Overhead Press.
2. Backseat, B. (1983). “Four Thousand One Hundred and Twelve”. Unfinished.