List of things that are flat

This is a list of things that are flat, arranged from flattest to least flat. Every item was measured by laying a ruler across it. The ruler, which is itself extremely flat, was excluded from the list on grounds of a conflict of interest.^[1]

List

• A pancake. Flat until stacked, at which point it becomes tall and must be measured by a different department.
• A floor. Floors are flat so that chairs can be.
• Lemonade left open overnight.
• The side of your hair you slept on.
• A joke that has been explained.
• A tyre, according to the warning light, which is usually wrong but is never ignored for long.
• A battery, in whichever device is needed right now.
• The singing of whoever is standing next to you.
• A hill, when viewed from directly above. This entry was challenged by the hill.

Excluded entries

A “flat” in the sense of an apartment was considered and rejected after surveyors visited 300 of them and found that most had stairs, several had a slope towards the kitchen, and one was on a hill.^[2]

A calm lake was found to be flat but was excluded for being wet, and has been referred to the article on water.

See also

• List of things that are round – the opposite list, more or less
• List of things that are heavy
• Hill – still appealing

References

1. Level, S. (2003). Flat Out. Spirit Press.
2. Plane, P. (1999). “The Ruler Recuses Itself”. Measurement Ethics 2.
3. Survey of Dwellings (2011). “Flats That Were Not”. Vol. 1 of 1.