Doorknob

A doorknob is a round handle fixed to a door. Without one, a door is just a section of wall with ambitions.^[1]

Doorknobs turn. Which way they turn is decided by the doorknob, and is always the other way.

Operation

A door with a doorknob may be pushed or pulled. Laboratory tests on 4,000 doors found that the correct direction is whichever one was not tried first, regardless of which one was tried first.^[2]

Static

Doorknobs store static electricity on behalf of carpets, which have nowhere to keep it. The charge is released into the next finger to arrive, as a small reminder that it exists.

Knob versus lever

The doorknob’s great rival is the lever handle, which can be opened with an elbow. Knob traditionalists consider this cheating; lever enthusiasts call the doorknob “a circle with an attitude”. Peace talks in 2004 were held in a room with no doors, so as not to favour either side, and were delayed by several hours while delegates looked for the way in.^[3]

See also

• Door – the rest of the doorknob
• Circle – a doorknob seen from the front

References

1. Hinge, H. (1999). A Wall With Ambitions. Latch Press.
2. Knob, K. (1989). “Push, Pull, Other”. Journal of Doors 11.
3. Lever, L. (2004). “The Doorless Talks: Minutes (From Outside)”.