Towel

A towel is a piece of absorbent cloth used to make things dry. It does this by becoming wet itself, so that the drier you get, the wetter it gets. Economists regard it as the only household object to run entirely at a loss.^[1]

A towel removes water from a person and then hangs on a rail with it for most of the day, waiting for the water to leave by itself, which it does, eventually, into the air of the bathroom.

Types

• Bath towel: large, for after baths.
• Hand towel: small, for hands, though hands have been known to use the bath towel when nobody is watching.
• Tea towel: for drying cups. Has never been used to dry tea.
• Decorative towel: for looking at. It has never dried anything, and its owners consider this a success.

Dryness

In 1971 the Standing Committee on Towels set out to define the word “dry”. After nine years it published a single sentence: “Not wet, but having been.” The definition was adopted, and the committee was handed a towel.^[2]

Studies show that a towel is driest at the exact moment nobody needs it, and dampest the moment someone steps out of the shower and reaches for it.

Throwing in the towel

To “throw in the towel” means to give up. A 1994 survey of towels found that none of those thrown in had given up; most had simply been thrown, and several had landed on the floor, where they stayed for some time out of principle.

See also

• Doormat – a towel for feet that has moved outside
• Water – what it carries around all day
• Puddle – what happens without one

References

1. Terry, T. (1971–1980). Not Wet, But Having Been. Standing Committee on Towels. p. 1.
2. Flannel, F. (2003). Damp: A Life. Rail Press.
3. Pile, L. (1994). “Were You Thrown or Did You Quit?” Linen Quarterly, 12, 4.