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Snail

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From WinkyPedia, the free encyclopedia that tells you what you already knew

A snail is a small animal that carries its house on its back. Because it takes its house everywhere, a snail has never once been locked out, never left the oven on and never been more than a few millimetres from home.[1]

Snails see using eyes on the ends of stalks, which give them an excellent, raised view of very little happening very slowly.

Speed

The phrase “at a snail's pace” is not an official unit of speed. The International Bureau of Measures has been considering adopting it since 1972, and says it expects to reach a decision at a snail's pace.[2]

Snail races are timed with a stopwatch, and, for the longer events, a calendar.

Weather

Snails come out after rain. They are not sure why everyone else goes in.

Housing

As a snail grows, its shell grows with it, so a snail never has to move house. It is the only animal to have solved the property market entirely, and it did so by being slow enough that nobody noticed.[3]

See also

  • Rain – a snail's favourite weather
  • Staircase – a snail's life's work
  • Puddle – a snail's lake
  • Tortoise – a faster snail, with legs

References

  1. Shell, S. (1998). Home at Last, and Always. Spiral Press.
  2. International Bureau of Measures (1972–present). “Proposal 14: The Snail's Pace”. Under review.
  3. Slime, T. (2020). “No Rent: Lessons From the Garden”. Journal of Slow Economics 2.