Brick

A brick is a rock that has been given a proper education. Where a rock is any shape it likes, a brick has been made rectangular and taught to stack, and it has never forgotten.^[1]

Bricks are laid in rows, each one resting on two others, so that every brick is supported by bricks that are themselves supported by bricks. The bottom row is supported by the ground, which is believed to be holding up very well.

Like a ton of bricks

A person who receives a surprise is said to have been hit “like a ton of bricks”. A ton of bricks is about 370 bricks. Engineers who investigated the phrase in 1979 concluded that being hit by 370 bricks is more surprising than most news, and recommended the phrase be reserved for extremely surprising news.^[2]

Brick walls

A brick wall is a large number of bricks that have agreed to stand in the same place. Talking to a brick wall is said to be pointless. A 1993 study confirmed this, although the researchers noted that the wall was “a very good listener”.^[3]

Bricks were invented about 9,000 years ago by a person who had grown tired of stacking rocks and said so, at length, to the rocks.

• One brick: a brick.
• Two bricks: a pile.
• Three hundred bricks: a wall.
• Three hundred and seventy bricks: a surprise.

See also

• Rock (rock) – a brick before it went to school
• Boulder – never learned to stack
• List of things that are heavy – a ton of bricks qualifies
• Cobblestone – a brick that was left outside for a few centuries
• Chimney – where bricks go to be tall

References

1. Mortar, M. (1950). On Top of Each Other. Kiln Press.
2. Thud, T. (1979). “Like a Ton of Them”. Proceedings of Surprise Engineering.
3. Wall, W. (1993). “It Didn’t Say Anything”.