Doorbell

A doorbell is a button placed beside a door so that people who are outside can tell people who are inside that they are outside.^[1] The people inside then confirm this by shouting “Who is it?”, to which the answer, in 97% of recorded cases, is “Me”.

The doorbell was introduced because knocking was felt to be too personal.

Operation

A doorbell knows when someone is at the door because it knows when its button is not being pressed. The moment the button stops not being pressed, the doorbell deduces a visitor and rings to share its findings. It does not know who the visitor is, which is why it needs your help.^[2]

The ding and the dong

The traditional doorbell plays “ding” followed by “dong”. The Dingist school holds that the ding is the doorbell proper and the dong merely its echo; Dongists insist the ding is only a warning that a dong is on its way. A 1974 conference called to settle the matter ended abruptly when the doorbell rang and both sides went to answer it.^[3]

Etiquette

• Pressed once: a visitor.
• Pressed twice: a visitor with a parcel.
• Pressed eleven times: a child, or a visitor with a parcel that is getting heavy (see List of things that are heavy).
• Not pressed, knocked next to: a visitor who did not see the doorbell, which was right there.

See also

• Door – what the doorbell is about
• Staircase – what you run down when it rings
• Meeting – also begins when someone arrives

References

1. Chime, D. (1986). Ding: A History. Button Books. p. 1.
2. Porch, P. (2011). Who Is It? Me Publishing.
3. Knock, K. (1974). “The Dong Question”. Proceedings of the Doorstep Conference (interrupted).