Fridge

A fridge is a cupboard that is cold on purpose. It hums constantly, but only when you notice; studies have been unable to record the hum at any time when nobody was listening for it.^[1]

People open the fridge, look inside, close it, and open it again a few minutes later in case new food has arrived. New food has never arrived. Anthropologists classify the behaviour as a form of hope.

The light

Whether the fridge light goes off when the door is closed is the oldest open question in domestic science. Every attempt to check involves opening the door, which turns the light on, and the light has accordingly been found on in all 41 million recorded inspections. The question remains open, like the door.^[2]

The back of the fridge

Items placed at the back of the fridge enter a separate climate and are not seen again until the household moves. A jar of chutney recovered in 2014 was found to be older than the fridge, and is now considered part of the building.

See also

• Kettle – the fridge’s hot neighbour
• Toaster – also in the kitchen, also hopeful
• Door – the fridge has one, and it is the problem
• Ketchup – kept here or in the cupboard, depending on the household
• Magnet – what holds the notes on

References

1. Chill, C. (2014). The Chutney Was Older. Cold Storage Books.
2. Frost, J. (1999). “Is It Off Now?”. Journal of Domestic Science 41: 1–41,000,000.