List of things that are slow

This is a list of things that are slow. It was compiled over eleven years, which the editors consider appropriate, and they note that it would have been finished sooner if it had been a list of anything else.^[1]

For the purposes of this list, a thing is slow if it can be overtaken by a person walking, or by a person who has stopped to think about walking.

Things that are slow

• Glaciers, which move a few metres a year and are always about to arrive.
• Snails, which carry their house with them so that they are never late home.
• Sloths, which move so slowly that algae grows in their fur.
• Continental drift, which moves at about the speed fingernails grow.
• The last minute of the working day, which lasts about four.
• Treacle, poured on a cold morning, which reaches the pan some time after the rest of breakfast has been eaten.
• Whichever queue you are in, compared with the one next to it.

Excluded

Light, cheetahs and weekends were all rejected at the first round. A cheetah's appeal was heard and dismissed within the same afternoon, which the editors said rather proved the point.^[2]

Disputed entries

Tuesday was nominated in 2016 but withdrew, arguing that it only feels slow. The editors accepted this, slowly.^[3]

See also

• List of things that are heavy – the companion list, which took longer to lift
• Tuesday – withdrawn
• Time – what slow things take

References

1. Plod, P. (2009). Eventually. Treacle Press. p. 1 (of 1, still being written).
2. Pounce, C. (2013). “The Appeal Was Quick”. Feline Law Review 2.
3. Amble, A. (2016). The Tuesday Question. Late Books.