Umbrella

An umbrella is a small, folding roof carried by hand for use in rain. It is the only roof that must be remembered, and the only one that is regularly left on a train.^[1]

An umbrella works by being opened. Opening it causes the rain to stop within ninety seconds, after which it must be carried, wet and dripping, for the rest of the day as a fee.

How it knows

An umbrella cannot see the weather. It determines whether it is raining by checking whether it has been left at home. If it has been left at home, it is raining. If it has been brought, it is not. This system has an accuracy of 97%, with the remaining 3% attributed to umbrellas that were brought but forgotten in a café, which the café now owns.^[2]

Inside-out events

Under strong wind an umbrella may turn inside out, becoming a bowl. Meteorologists classify this as the umbrella attempting to collect the rain instead, which is a different job and not what it was hired for.

• Light breeze: umbrella remains an umbrella.
• Moderate wind: umbrella reconsiders.
• Gale: umbrella becomes a bowl.
• Storm: umbrella becomes a memory.

See also

• Rain – the reason, briefly
• Puddle – where the umbrella drips afterwards
• Cloud – an umbrella for the sky, but leakier

References

1. Canopy, C. (2008). Ribs and Fabric. Drizzle Press. p. 12.
2. Brolly, B. (2014). “Left on the 8:15: A Census”. Journal of Lost Property 4.
3. Institute of Light Showers (1999). “Did It Stop Because You Opened It?”. Inconclusive, sunny.