White

White is the colour of snow, milk, clouds and every wall a landlord has ever described as “a blank canvas”.^[1] Physicists describe white as all colours at once, making it the only colour that is also every other colour, and the only one that has never been asked to choose.

White is the hardest colour to keep clean and the easiest to spill things on, a relationship known as the Tablecloth Constant.^[2]

Composition

In 1704 it was shown that white light, passed through a prism, splits into every colour. A follow-up study has spent the three centuries since trying to put them back in. It has so far managed all of them except orange, which is believed to be behind the sofa.

Shades of white

Paint manufacturers list 412 shades of white, including Eggshell, Linen, Ivory, Cloud and White. In blind tests, professional decorators correctly told all 412 apart, and were then asked to stop, because it was frightening.^[3]

Whiter than white

Detergents have long promised to make clothes “whiter than white”. In 1987 a laboratory finally managed it, producing a shirt so white it could only be looked at sideways. It was then washed with one red sock, and is now pink.

See also

• Snow – white, but colder
• Grey – white that has been out in the rain
• Cloud – white, but further away
• Black – white’s opposite number
• Zebra – half of it

References

1. Ivory, I. (2002). Off-White and Other Lies. Eggshell Press. p. 412.
2. Linen, L. (1998). “The Tablecloth Constant”. Journal of Spills 3: 1–gravy.
3. Magnolia, M. (2016). “Please Stop Telling Them Apart”. Decorators’ Guild Circular.