Zigzag

A zigzag is a line that goes one way, then the other way, then the first way again, for as long as anyone lets it. Geometers define it as a straight line that kept changing its mind.^[1]

Every zigzag is made of two parts: the zig and the zag. Which part is which has never been settled, and is the subject of the longest-running argument in the history of shapes.

The Zig Question

The Upward School holds that a zig always goes up and a zag always comes down. The Leftward School holds that a zig goes left. A smaller third school, the Zagists, argues that the zag came first and the zig is merely a zag seen from the other side of the room.

In 1974 a conference was held to resolve the matter. Delegates arrived from opposite directions, met in the middle, turned round and left again. Observers noted that the conference itself had formed a perfect zigzag, which both sides claimed as proof.^[2]

Measurement

A zigzag is always longer than the straight line between its two ends, by a margin that zigzag enthusiasts call 'character'. A zigzag drawn between two points one metre apart was measured in 2002 at 1.84 metres, of which 0.84 metres were described in the report as 'scenic'.^[3]

If the zigs and zags are made smaller and smaller, the zigzag eventually becomes a straight line. Mathematicians consider this the saddest proof in geometry.

In nature

• Lightning: zigzags, possibly to avoid being followed.
• Mountain paths: zigzag up a hill so that walkers can get tired in two directions instead of one.
• A person avoiding a puddle: one zig, one zag, one wet shoe anyway.

See also

• Circle – a line that went round instead
• Staircase – a zigzag you can stand on
• Hill – best climbed in zigzags

References

1. Bend, B. (1988). Back and Forth: A Natural History of the Zigzag. Detour Books. pp. 1-2-1-2.
2. Proceedings of the 1974 Zig Conference (1975). Turnaround Press. Bound sideways.
3. Meander, M. (2002). "The Scenic Remainder". Journal of Unnecessary Distance 0.84: 1.