Lemon

The lemon is a yellow citrus fruit with a sour taste, a bright skin and an unshakeable reputation for being handed out by life.^[1]

The saying “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” assumes that life also supplies sugar, water and a jug. A 2011 survey found that it does so in only 3% of cases, and in the remaining 97% simply leaves the lemons and goes.

Sourness

Lemons are sour because they contain citric acid, and citric acid is named after citrus fruit because it is what makes them sour. Food scientists describe this as a closed loop and have asked not to be disturbed while they look for the way out.^[2]

The pip problem

Every lemon contains a pip positioned exactly where the squeezing will happen. Botanists have long argued over whether the pip moves to the spot or the spot moves to the pip. The Positional School favours the pip; the Spatial School favours the spot; the lemon has declined to comment.^[3]

Uses

• Lemonade: the official response to being given lemons.
• Pancakes: one squeeze, plus sugar, once a year.
• Fish: a slice on the side, which nobody remembers using.
• Batteries: a lemon can light a small bulb, very dimly, for long enough to impress a classroom.

See also

• Sun – the other yellow thing
• Water – needed for lemonade, rarely provided
• Circle – what a lemon is aiming for

References

1. Zest, C. (2008). Life Gave Me These. Pith Press. p. 1.
2. Sharp, A. (2011). “A Survey of Lemons Received”. Citrus Quarterly 4.
3. Pippin, R. (1996). The Pip Moves. Disputed by the Spatial School.