Breeze

A breeze is a light, gentle wind. Meteorologists describe it as wind that has been asked to keep it down.^[1]

A breeze can be told apart from a gale by a simple test: if your hat is still on your head, it is a breeze. If your hat is in the next county, it was not.

Measurement

The strength of a breeze is measured in napkins. A one-napkin breeze lifts the corner of a napkin at an outdoor table. A two-napkin breeze removes the napkin entirely. A three-napkin breeze is no longer a breeze and has become everyone's problem.^[2]

Breezes are invisible, so scientists study them indirectly, by watching what they do to leaves, washing lines and people's fringes. In 1990 a team spent a full summer observing a breeze at close range and concluded that it had been there, but had left before lunch.

The sea breeze

A sea breeze blows from the sea towards the land on warm afternoons. It happens because the land heats up faster than the sea, and the air, sensibly, moves towards the warm side.

At night the process reverses and the breeze blows back out to sea, leading coastal scholars to conclude that the breeze does not live anywhere in particular and simply commutes.^[3]

Common phrases

• "It was a breeze": the task was easy. The breeze itself was not involved.
• "Shooting the breeze": idle chat. No breezes are harmed.
• "Breezing in": arriving casually, usually late, usually to a meeting.

See also

• Cloud – pushed about by breezes
• Rain – what the breeze sometimes brings with it
• Sun – the cause of the sea breeze, ultimately

References

1. Zephyr, Z. (2006). Mostly Gentle: A Field Guide to Light Winds. Draught Press. Pages may turn by themselves.
2. Gust, G. & Waft, W. (1990). "The Napkin Scale". Quarterly Journal of Outdoor Dining 2: 1-3.
3. Shore, S. (2012). The Commuting Air. Tidewater Books.