Rock (rock)

A rock is a piece of rock. It is bigger than a pebble and smaller than a boulder, which makes it the middle child of the stone family, and it behaves accordingly.^[1]

Rocks are hard, which is why they are called rocks and not softs. Early attempts to call them softs were abandoned after someone sat on one.

Composition

In 1958 scientists split a rock open to find out what was inside. They found more rock. A second rock was opened to confirm the result, and was also full of rock. The research programme ended shortly afterwards, citing “morale”.^[2]

Types

There are three main types of rock: igneous, sedimentary and metamorphic. There are also three other main types: big, small and rock-sized. Geologists use the first system; everyone else uses the second, and is right.

Uses

Rocks are used for sitting on, tripping over, holding down paper on windy days, and being rocks. A rock that is not being used continues to be a rock, at no extra charge.

See also

• Boulder – the eldest
• Pebble – the youngest
• Grey – a rock’s favourite colour
• Moai – rocks, with faces
• Rosetta Stone – a rock that could be read

References

1. Stone, R. (2019). Rocks Are Hard. Gravel Press. p. 1.
2. Granite, M. (1958). “We Opened a Rock”. Proceedings of Rock. Vol. Rock. Retracted out of sadness.