List of things that are wet

This is a list of things that are wet. A thing is wet if it has water on it, in it, or was recently standing next to a puddle when a bus went past.^[1]

The list was compiled in 2014 by a team of volunteers who went outside to look for wet things. All of the volunteers had been added to the list by lunchtime.

Wet things

• Water (founding member)
• Rain, on arrival
• Puddles, all of them
• The sea, entirely
• A towel, after doing its job, which is to become wet so that you don’t have to
• The other side of the bath mat
• A dog after a walk, distributed evenly around the house
• The compilers of this list

Disputed entries

Whether water itself is wet is the most contested question in the field. The Damp School holds that water makes things wet and cannot be wet itself, in the same way that a hammer cannot hit itself. The Soggy School replies that it has seen water, and it looked wet.^[2]

Fish are excluded from the list on the grounds that they have never been dry and have nothing to compare it to.

Removal from the list

Things may be removed from the list once they have dried off. Removal requests must be submitted on paper, which must be dry. Most requests arrive wet, and are added to the list.

See also

• List of things that are heavy – a drier list
• Rain – a leading supplier
• Water
• List of things that are sticky – wet, but committed

References

1. Damp, D. (2014). We Went Outside. Drizzle Books.
2. Soggy, S. (2016). “It Looked Wet”. Annals of Moisture 2.