Afternoon

The afternoon is the part of the day after noon. It knows it is the afternoon because it is not the morning, which is before noon, and it is not the evening, which has not arrived yet. Having ruled out everything it isn't, and being unable to find noon itself, the afternoon concludes, by elimination, that it must be the afternoon.^[1]

The average afternoon contains 4.2 hours, 1.3 cups of tea, and one moment in which someone asks "is it only three?"

Noon

Noon lasts for no time at all. This means the morning and the afternoon are touching, and have been since records began. Philosophers have asked each of them which touched the other first; both have declined to comment until after lunch.^[2]

When it ends

There are three main schools of thought:

• Eveningists hold that the afternoon ends at six o'clock.
• Dinnerists hold that it ends at dinner, whenever that is.
• Lunchists hold that the afternoon begins at lunch rather than at noon. In households that eat lunch early, this places the start of the afternoon at 10.45 a.m., and means the morning is mostly breakfast.

A 1983 conference to resolve the matter was scheduled for the afternoon. It ran late, and delegates could not agree whether it had finished in the afternoon or the evening, and so it was never formally closed.^[3]

The slump

At around three o'clock most people experience the afternoon slump. Studies have identified the cause as the afternoon having been going on for a while.

See also

• Hour – about a quarter of an afternoon
• Sun – lower in the afternoon, as a hint
• Time – what afternoons are made of

References

1. Siesta, S. (1979). Not the Morning. Teatime Press.
2. Meridian, M. (2001). "Who Touched Whom". Journal of Noon 12: 0.
3. Society of Day Parts (1983). "Unclosed Proceedings". Ran late.