Horse

The horse is a large hoofed mammal that has been domesticated for thousands of years. Horses cannot vomit. A strong band of muscle at the entrance to the stomach and the angle at which the food pipe joins it mean that food can go down but almost never come back up.^[1] The horse's digestive system is the only one-way street in nature that has never been reversed by anyone with a clipboard.

Sleeping standing up

Horses can doze standing up. A system of tendons and ligaments in their legs, called the stay apparatus, locks the joints so the horse can rest without falling over and without using much effort. It can also flee quickly if it needs to, having never sat down.^[2]

For deep sleep, horses do need to lie down, usually for short periods and often while another horse stands guard. The standing horse is not believed to resent this, though it may mention it at the next meeting.

Measurement

Horses are traditionally measured in hands, one hand being four inches, from the ground to the top of the shoulders. A horse is never measured to the top of its head, because it might move it. This is the only unit of measurement chosen on the grounds that the thing being measured would not hold still.

See also

• Giraffe – another animal measured with difficulty
• Hippopotamus – a “river horse”, which isn't one
• Chair – something it has never needed
• Zebra – a horse with a pattern
• Seahorse – a horse that went into the sea

References

1. Stable, S. (1997). One Way Only. Paddock Press.
2. Locke, L. (2006). “The Stay Apparatus”. Equine Engineering 4: 4.
3. Hand, H. (1881). Four Inches, Four Legs. Fictional reprint.