Stepping stone

A stepping stone is a rock placed in a river so that people can cross without getting wet. It is a bridge that has been broken into pieces and asked to cope.^[1]

Every set of stepping stones contains exactly one wobbly stone. It is never the first stone, which everyone tests, and it is never the one you were worried about. Surveys place it second from the end 87% of the time, at the precise moment the crosser has started to feel confident.

Spacing

The ideal distance between stepping stones was the subject of a forty-year study by the Riverside Gap Commission, which placed experimental stones in a test stream at every possible interval and asked volunteers to cross. The Commission's final report concluded that the ideal gap is "slightly further than you would like", and that this is true at every interval.^[2]

The Commission also established that the gap looks shorter from the bank than from the stone, and longer on the way back.

Figurative use

A job or achievement that leads to a better one is called a "stepping stone". Real stepping stones lead only to the other side of the river, and then, if you are unlucky, back again for your hat. No stepping stone has ever led to a promotion, although several have led to a wet sock (see Sock).

Stone welfare

Stepping stones are stood on thousands of times a year and are never thanked. They do not appear to mind. Geologists believe this is because they are rocks, and they have asked the public not to read anything more into it.

See also

• River – the thing being stepped over
• Boulder – a stepping stone too big to step on
• Pebble – a stepping stone too small to bother with

References

1. Ford, F. (2002). Across, Mostly. Riverbank Books. p. 1 (damp).
2. Riverside Gap Commission (1962–2002). "Final Report on the Ideal Gap". Submitted from the far bank.
3. Wobble, W. (2018). "The Second-From-Last Problem". Journal of Sudden Balance 8.