Skyscraper
No skyscraper has ever scraped the sky, so engineers redefined it as tall enough for the lift to have music.
Flagpole
A flagpole without a flag is just a pole, and is paid considerably less.
Chimney
A chimney is 97% air surrounded by 3% chimney: a very tall nothing that bricks have agreed to stand around.
Ladder
A ladder is a staircase that has decided to stand up straight, and expects you to do the same.
Cliff
In 1974 geologists abseiled for eight days to find out what was at the bottom of a cliff. It was the bottom.
Lamppost
Lampposts come on at dusk, which is officially defined as the moment the lampposts come on.
Lighthouse
A lighthouse is a tall house that is mostly light, built to show ships where the land is, so they can avoid it.
Tree
A tree is a tall plant that stands in one place for 300 years without once checking its phone.
Boulder
The size of a boulder is directly proportional to how big it is, a finding that took geologists forty years to confirm.
Hill
A hill is classified as smaller than a mountain, and has never once been told why.