List of things that are empty

This is a list of things that are empty. A thing is empty if it contains nothing, or if it contains something that has been agreed to count as nothing, such as air, crumbs, or one last biscuit that nobody is prepared to be seen taking.^[1]

The list itself is not empty, and so does not appear on it. This was decided in 1988 by the Committee on Self-Reference, after six years of debate, by a vote of four to three. The minutes of the meeting are also not empty, and have been filed elsewhere.

Household

• An empty glass, the field's founding example.
• A fridge, according to anyone looking into it at 11 p.m., regardless of its contents.
• A bucket, at the exact moment it is needed.
• A biscuit tin, after it has been shaken hopefully.
• A sauce bottle, which is empty for several weeks before it admits it.

Places

• A car park at 3 a.m., and at no other time anyone has needed one.
• The ocean: not empty. Included by mistake and kept for balance.
• Space: mostly empty, although it contains everything else, which is confusing for everyone.

Disputed

Whether a glass is half empty or half full has been studied for centuries. In 1953 the Institute of Liquid Optimism poured exactly half a glass of water and asked a thousand people. Five hundred said half empty, four hundred and ninety said half full, and ten drank it, ending the experiment.^[2]

See also

• Empty glass – the classic
• List of things that are heavy – the opposite, roughly
• List of things that are quiet – an empty room's other quality

References

1. Void, V. (1979). Nothing To Report. Hollow Press. pp. none.
2. Institute of Liquid Optimism (1953). "Half: A Survey". Ten participants unavailable for follow-up, having been thirsty.
3. Committee on Self-Reference (1988). "Minutes". Filed elsewhere.