Frost
Each winter night an unseen force crosses the land, coating all in ice. In the morning it is found on the car.
Orange
The fruit is named after the colour, which is named after the fruit; neither will say who started it.
Gravel
Gravel is lots of small rocks that agreed to be gravel together, rather than face being a stone alone.
Hexagon
Pencils are hexagonal so they don’t roll away; round pencils were trialled in 1840 and are still rolling.
Week
A week is made of days, which are made of hours, which are made of weeks if you are waiting for a parcel.
Afternoon
The average afternoon contains 4.2 hours, 1.3 cups of tea and one person asking ‘is it only three?’
List of things that are quiet
Quietness is measured in Shushes, the unit of someone asking a room to be quiet, which is very loud.
Lake
A lake is water that has stopped. A river is still going somewhere; a lake has arrived and won’t discuss it.
Chimney
A chimney is 97% air surrounded by 3% chimney: a very tall nothing that bricks have agreed to stand around.
Toaster
A toaster has two settings, ‘not yet’ and ‘too late’. The dial between them is decorative.