Fork
A fork is a spoon with gaps in it, designed for food that would rather not be scooped.
Wall
A wall is a floor that stood up, and has been standing ever since, mainly to keep the room in.
Floor
A floor is the bottom of a room. It is the ceiling of the room below, used the right way up.
Ceiling
A ceiling is the floor of the room upstairs, used upside down so that only flies walk on it.
Bucket
A bucket surrounds its contents on every side but the top, which it leaves open as a courtesy.
Bookshelf
A bookshelf stores books in order of how clever they make you look, not the order you read them.
Doorknob
Without a doorknob, a door is just a section of wall with ambitions.
List of things that are soft
Softness is measured by pressing something with a finger and seeing whether the finger wins.
Fridge
People open the fridge every few minutes in case new food has arrived; it has never once arrived.
Umbrella
An umbrella is a portable roof that guarantees rain will stop the moment it is opened.