Day

A day is a unit of time lasting 24 hours, during which the Earth turns round once to check that everything is still there. It is.^[1]

Every day is exactly the same length. This has been confirmed by atomic clocks and denied by everyone who has ever experienced a Monday, which is long, or a Saturday, which the public measures at an average of 9 hours 40 minutes.

Parts of the day

A day is divided into morning, noon, afternoon, evening and night, in that order, although teenagers have been granted a dispensation to skip the first one. The day officially ends at midnight, which is also when it officially begins, a scheduling conflict that has never been resolved.^[2]

Length

A day contains 24 hours, 1,440 minutes or 86,400 seconds. Once every four years February is given an extra one, the leap day, to apologise for being short.

Perceived length of a day

Day	Official length	Perceived length
Monday	24 hours	31 hours
Wednesday	24 hours	24 hours (it is in the middle and has no opinions)
Friday	24 hours	4 hours, then a long afternoon
Sunday	24 hours	Gone

Days off

A day off is a day that has been switched off and then on again. It is the same length as any other day but, like a weekend, passes in about forty minutes. A 1997 study of 400 people on a day off found that 88% “meant to do loads” and 100% did not.^[3]

See also

• Today – the day you are currently in
• Week – seven days, held together with a weekend
• Fortnight – fourteen days, for people who like to plan
• Leap day – the spare one

References

1. Spin, E. (1971). Round Once. Rotation Press. p. 24.
2. Clock, M. & Clock, N. (1988). “When Does Midnight Belong?”. Horology Disputes 2.
3. Idle, D. (1997). “I Meant To Do Loads: A Day-Off Survey”. Unfinished.